1 00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:03,237 ANNOUNCER: These parents are Outmatched. 2 00:00:03,271 --> 00:00:05,406 How did I give birth to Wikipedia? 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:06,774 ANNOUNCER: All-new episodes Thursdays. 4 00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:09,110 And watch other Fox shows like Last Man Standing. 5 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,744 -Bingo. -Only on Fox. 6 00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:19,320 Well, we did it. 7 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,055 It took three geniuses and 16 years, 8 00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:23,491 but we finally got our first call to the principal's office. 9 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:24,858 Mm. 10 00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:27,495 Being here really brings back memories. 11 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,497 I almost feel like that class-skipping, 12 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,733 whippet-doing 16-year-old again. 13 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,169 Yeah. Now you're just the work-skipping, 14 00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:37,571 whippet-doing mom of a boy who gets bullied. 15 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,507 (chuckles softly) Honestly, I'm surprised 16 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,509 it took Marc this long to get picked on. 17 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,010 I mean, he's a weird, gifted kid 18 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,878 in an Atlantic City public school. 19 00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,214 I wonder what finally did him in? 20 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,516 Oh. Could have been a hundred things. 21 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,084 I mean, he says, "Good morrow." 22 00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:52,753 He's a vocal advocate for thyroid health. 23 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:56,257 He runs like his arms are trying to get away from his torso. 24 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,725 Yes. Yes. 25 00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:58,892 Mr. and Mrs. Bennett? 26 00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:01,028 Oh, my God. Sweetie, are you okay? 27 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,264 Who did this to you? Just give me a name. 28 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,866 Kids fall off the jungle gym all the time. 29 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,102 No, I think you both misunderstood. 30 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,904 Marc wasn't the victim. He was the bully. 31 00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:13,541 No. No, that can't be right. 32 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,376 I mean, Marc couldn't hurt anybody. 33 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:19,213 Last night, he got trapped under his weighted blanket. 34 00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:22,716 Technically, it was just a top sheet. 35 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,552 Marc didn't use his fists. 36 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,887 He has a way of making people who aren't as bright as him 37 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,222 feel inferior. 38 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:31,259 Sweetie, you can't make fun of other kids 39 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,760 because they're not as smart as you. 40 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,229 Actually, the victim wasn't a student. 41 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:38,766 You didn't tell me he was going to be here. 42 00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:44,071 -Marc bullied his teacher? -No. 43 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,274 I simply correct him when he is wrong. 44 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,741 Which is all the time. 45 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,110 (sighs) He has repeatedly undermined me. 46 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,112 I've lost the respect of the whole class. 47 00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:54,748 You lost that yourself when you said you went to Dartmouth. 48 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,750 It's an Ivy! 49 00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:59,487 Sweetie, you can't treat your teacher like this. 50 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,821 You have to apologize. 51 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,423 All I did was tell the truth. 52 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,425 Apologizing would be lying. 53 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,160 Connie, you promised you'd make him stop. 54 00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:08,296 Connie can't help you now. 55 00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:13,634 * 56 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,977 I can't believe Marc bullied his teacher. 57 00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:25,479 Brains and cruelty? 58 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:29,116 I may have finally found a running mate. 59 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:33,120 I talked to him about it; he wasn't trying to be a bully. 60 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,022 I think he's just acting out because he's bored 61 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:36,857 and not being challenged at school. 62 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,960 You know, you guys acted out, too, but in different ways. 63 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,296 Like when you grew human ears on the backs of mice 64 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,332 so you could "play God." 65 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:48,569 Funny story, most of those mice went insane. 66 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,138 This is a problem. 67 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,973 I don't know how we can keep sending Marc to that school. 68 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,642 So, send him to ours. 69 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:58,312 They'll accept anyone related to me sight unseen. 70 00:02:58,346 --> 00:03:00,814 We can't afford a third kid in private school. 71 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:04,818 Money doesn't just grow on the backs of mice like ears, Nicole. 72 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,488 If he's bored, can't you just skip him a few grades 73 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,022 so he'll be more challenged? 74 00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,492 Oh, he is not emotionally mature enough for that. 75 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,527 And how's he gonna reach the urinals? 76 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:17,231 I guess he could stand back and arc it. 77 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:19,500 What about sending Marc to Marlboro Charter? 78 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,168 They have a gifted program. 79 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,404 Jason Berger went there after our school kicked him out 80 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:26,740 for using the robotics lab to build a girlfriend. 81 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,709 Oh, we have dinner with them on the 24th 82 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,111 to celebrate their anniversary. 83 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:35,215 What's Marlboro Charter? Sounds expensive. 84 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:36,517 No, it's free. 85 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,519 It's like a public school with a specialized... 86 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,188 He stopped listening after "free." 87 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,724 I stopped listening after you said you have a dinner date 88 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,727 with a pervert and his robot girlfriend. 89 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,731 From what he says, she's the pervert. 90 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,437 And we think Marlboro Charter's gifted program 91 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,238 would be perfect for Marc. 92 00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,541 He wrote his first concerto when he was four 93 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,576 and then self-published a magazine 94 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,378 that gave it a rave review. 95 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,447 Well, it's quite impressive. 96 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,716 And while my little academic sandbox 97 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,218 is open to all qualified children in the district, 98 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,955 I'm concerned about Marc's history of bullying. 99 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,424 I understand. 100 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,225 But that was just a one-time thing. 101 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,227 The class is a little slow for him, 102 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,129 so he's bored and acting out. 103 00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:25,433 Interesting. "He's bored and acting out." 104 00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:28,235 Tell me, was that also your excuse 105 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,838 back when you bullied me? 106 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,275 Uh... I'm sorry, when I...? 107 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,578 I could tell you didn't recognize me. 108 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,647 Ventnor High, we graduated together? 109 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,585 Oh, my God! Yes, yes, of course. 110 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,588 Dr. Walker. How are you? 111 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,757 You were the architect 112 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,992 of the most humiliating moment of my life. 113 00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:56,129 Well, how have you been since then? 114 00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:59,099 I can't believe Marc's bullying was a one-time thing. 115 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,835 The apple rarely falls far from the tree. 116 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,504 Are you kidding me? 117 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,172 That apple fell so far from the tree, 118 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,274 I wouldn't believe it's our apple 119 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,644 if I didn't see the tree push it out with my own eyes. 120 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,114 Marlboro appreciates your interest. 121 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,817 I'll pass Marc's application on to my colleague. 122 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:27,027 Well, thank you both for your time. 123 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,635 Well, there goes any shot of getting into Marlboro. 124 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,805 That guy really hates you. 125 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,808 I mean, that shredder was brand-new. 126 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:44,311 I feel like he bought it just for that meeting. 127 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,514 I don't even know what he was talking about. 128 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,148 I wasn't a bully in high school. 129 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,983 I played a few pranks. 130 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,553 I was voted class clown. 131 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,389 Sure, but clowns aren't always funny. 132 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:58,158 I mean, the most popular ones terrorize Gotham 133 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,860 or live in the sewer and eat children. 134 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,331 Hey. 135 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,899 How did it go at the school? 136 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:09,202 Uh, great, buddy. Yeah. We-we should hear soon. 137 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,871 I'm hopeful it works out. 138 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,343 Did you see that? 139 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,178 I've never seen him that amped up about anything. 140 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,013 Yeah. 141 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,850 I know. I got to fix things with Walker. 142 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,585 So we'll-we'll just call him and apologize. 143 00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,019 That's perfect. 144 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,556 Except for I have no idea who he is or what I did to him. 145 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,924 I got to figure this out. 146 00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,693 Someone has to remember him. 147 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:33,927 I don't remember him. 148 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,230 Wait. Was this the guy 149 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,032 you stapled into the mascot outfit? 150 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,401 -No, that was John Norwood. -Oh. 151 00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,771 What about the dude whose deodorant 152 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,405 you switched for spray glue? 153 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:48,075 Ryan Farley. 154 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:51,745 And how was I supposed to know he sprayed deodorant down there? 155 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,380 Who does that? 156 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,082 -What? -(scoffs) No one. 157 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,884 That's crazy. 158 00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,554 Okay, okay... Oh! What was the name of the flat-assed guy 159 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,422 you shoved into the locker during homecoming? 160 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:05,092 Oh-oh-oh, oh. Uh, uh, his name was Mike. 161 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,260 (clears throat) Mike Bennett. She married him. 162 00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,929 (chuckles) 163 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,899 You know, the more we talk about all the stuff I did, 164 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:15,068 it sounds more mean than fun. 165 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,070 Was I just a bully in high school? 166 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,306 No... no, babe. 167 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,909 You just-- you did some... 168 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,145 cruel things at the expense of other people's confidence 169 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,947 in their white jean collection. 170 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,250 Wow, Mike. You found the only thing 171 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,786 that a white guy can't get away with. 172 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,590 So Walker was right. 173 00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,258 I am the jerk tree, 174 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,961 and Marc is the apple that didn't fall far from me. 175 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:45,465 Maybe you were a tree on the jerky side, 176 00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,668 but you're a different person now. 177 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,703 Pancake-Ass is right. 178 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:54,141 Why don't you just show this Walker guy that you changed. 179 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,943 Uh, invite him over for dinner or something. 180 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,612 Yeah, or do what you did to us: 181 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,280 invite him over for beer and pizza, 182 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,449 and then talk about stuff he can't even contribute to 183 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,852 because he went to a different high school, Kay! 184 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,954 All right, you know what? Let's give it a try. 185 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,822 We'll roll out the red carpet. 186 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:12,025 Oh! Was Walker the guy you rolled in that carpet? 187 00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,661 MIKE: No-no-no-no-no. 188 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,063 Uh, buh-buh-buh-buh, also me. 189 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,870 Walker just e-mailed back. 190 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,872 He is in for dinner tomorrow. 191 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:27,174 But he said his "girlfriend" can't make it. 192 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,745 Weirdly, he's the one who put "girlfriend" in quotes. 193 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,848 Great. Did he mention any food allergies? 194 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,717 'Cause we throw a couple nuts in his salad, 195 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,385 next thing you know, we're saving his life 196 00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:40,821 and he owes us. 197 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,990 -Ha! -Oh. Hey, buddy. 198 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,225 What did we say about you and lurking? 199 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,828 Don't get caught. 200 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,230 Maybe now's a good time to talk to your apple. 201 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,399 Hey, sweetie. 202 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,868 Here. Sit. 203 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,536 You know, 204 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,839 I've been thinking about all the stuff I did 205 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,508 when I was in school, and you know what I realized? 206 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,911 It is never okay to bully. 207 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,848 -Well, actually... -I hate when they start sentences like that. 208 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,684 I recently read an article that I wrote 209 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:13,020 that highlights the sociopolitical benefits 210 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,723 of diminishing the weakest among us. 211 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:19,359 From an evolutionary standpoint, ineptitude should be ridiculed, 212 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,029 as to discourage that trait from the species. 213 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:26,366 Does everything have to be a nature documentary? 214 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:30,738 Just be kind to people, even if they're dumber than you. 215 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,607 So, based on that premise, 216 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,209 I should be extra nice to Brian. 217 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,713 What a beautiful sentiment from my brilliant 218 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,548 and symmetrically-featured sister. 219 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,117 In case your lackluster intelligence isn't following, 220 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,620 it is I who am being nice because... 221 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:49,422 because of what Mom said. 222 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,558 Interesting. 223 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,962 They're being nice to be mean. 224 00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:59,232 -No, no-no-no-no-no, don't learn this. -MIKE: Guys, 225 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:02,069 niceness is not a weapon, okay? 226 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,437 It makes the world a better place, 227 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,573 and also, it's a great way to hedge your bet 228 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,008 in case there really is a heaven. 229 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,311 So just put your egos aside and-and just, 230 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,414 you know... be good. 231 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,983 Forever. 232 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,417 Yes! 233 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:21,088 Definitely forever. But especially tomorrow. 234 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,490 Because Marc's academic life hangs in the balance, 235 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,258 and we have to prove 236 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,627 that we are a warm, loving family, 237 00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,462 and not just a bunch of bullies. 238 00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:32,099 Hey, Dad, can I borrow your hammer? 239 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,968 My imaginary friend needs to be taught a lesson. 240 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,643 Hey, what do you think? 241 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,012 Pretty clean, right? 242 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,447 I mean, I had to drill the closet door shut 243 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,350 'cause it wouldn't stay. But that's for tomorrow us. 244 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,152 Nice. Look what I got. 245 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,689 Nothing says "warm, kind home" like a welcome mat. 246 00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,691 Good news, it was on sale. 247 00:10:57,725 --> 00:11:02,295 Bad news, it says "Welcome to our ho ho home." 248 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,964 That's perfect. He's gonna think 249 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,465 we're year-round Christmas people. 250 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,334 Those freaks are nice to a fault. 251 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,169 BRIAN: Mom, 252 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,704 your deceitful daughter plagiarized 253 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,706 my look for the night. 254 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:16,176 Plagiarized? You took that turtleneck out of my drawer. 255 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,145 What happened to you two out-nice'ing each other? 256 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,180 That tiresome charade ran its course. 257 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:23,183 Yeah, it got weird when Nicole tried to draw me a bath. 258 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,218 Okay, Walker is going to be here any minute. 259 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,887 I don't have time for your your fighting 260 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,822 and competing right now. 261 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,557 Nicole gets the turtleneck, Brian gets the khakis, 262 00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,359 no one gets a bath. 263 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,731 Why can't they ever just make anything easy? 264 00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:39,399 Isn't it obvious? 265 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,869 I was a bully, and now I'm raising an army of bullies. 266 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:44,337 Well, I don't know about an army. 267 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,907 I'd say maybe an elite task force. 268 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,709 I was just worried about Marc, but it's all of them. 269 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:53,513 It's like my mean DNA combined with their brains 270 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,850 makes them bullying supersoldiers. 271 00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:59,853 Well, we can't count on the kids, so it's just gonna be 272 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:03,256 up to us tonight to make sure that-that we're nice. 273 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,258 Okay, you know you're already, like, professionally nice, 274 00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,094 so you're just saying that to remind me. 275 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,929 -What? -Do you not think I'm nice? 276 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,198 Yeah, of course you're nice, babe. 277 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,867 Yeah-- I'm just, I'm saying, you know, it never hurts to, uh, 278 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,936 -be more nice. -What the hell is more nice? 279 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,370 -Not this. -(doorbell rings) 280 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,372 Great. 281 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,541 Now I'm all in my head about "more nice." 282 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,211 You know, I'm gonna "more nice" your head right up your... 283 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,246 (gasps) Hey, you! 284 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,381 Get in here. 285 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,383 -I'm a hugger. -Oh. 286 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,119 Careful, I have a soft spine. 287 00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,889 This is a very quaint home. 288 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,390 Shoes on, I assume. 289 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:40,460 Dr. Walker, thank you for coming. 290 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,629 We're sorry your girlfriend couldn't make it. 291 00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:45,632 Ah. Yes, well, actually, we broke up. 292 00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:47,400 My decision. 293 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,436 And don't try calling her; she doesn't have a phone. 294 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:52,639 Please come in. Let me introduce you to the family. 295 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:55,075 Um, t-this here is Leila. 296 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,609 And of course, this is Marc-- 297 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,946 come here, buddy-- the man of the hour. 298 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,081 -Enchanté, Marc. -Enchanté, aussi. 299 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:04,084 Oh, French. (chuckles) 300 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,454 The language of France. 301 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,622 Okay. (clears throat, chuckles) 302 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,959 KAY: And these are our other two 303 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:14,995 gifted children Brian and Nicole. 304 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,830 -Enchanté. -Enchanté. 305 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:19,666 -Enchanté. -Enchanté. -NICOLE: Actually, 306 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,268 I think you can help us. 307 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,636 My brother and I were having an intellectual debate. 308 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,939 Is there any other kind? (laughs) 309 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:28,441 How droll. 310 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,011 As an academic evaluator, you are uniquely qualified 311 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,779 to settle something for us. 312 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,347 Uh, we don't need to bother Dr. Walker with... 313 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,449 We could show you our résumés, drone on 314 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,819 about our commendations, but let's dismiss the formalities. 315 00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,288 You've seen enough. 316 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,958 Decide: who is drawing whom a bath? 317 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,027 Come again? 318 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,661 Who is drawing whom... 319 00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:51,131 (laughs): Okay. Why don't, why don't we, uh, 320 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:54,667 go upstairs and, uh, and change our clothes... (clears throat) 321 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,637 ...and our personalities? 322 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,307 Okay. So the kids enchantéd the bed. 323 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,809 I think it's time to pull the trigger and say you're sorry. 324 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,712 (whispers): Ah, yeah. There's one problem-- same problem-- 325 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,847 -I don't remember him. -Right. 326 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,817 Okay. Okay, I-I got this. (clears throat) 327 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,987 So, Dr. Walker, tell me about yourself. 328 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,389 D-Did you play any sports in high school? 329 00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,825 (chuckles) No, I was not a sporting man. 330 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:22,162 The only team I cheered for was the team of physicians 331 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,397 trying to rectify my calcium deficiency. 332 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,399 I drank an obscene amount of milk. 333 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:31,338 Cool, cool. That seems like a memorable characteristic, 334 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,908 just a sick dude chugging milk all the time? 335 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,011 What is this? 336 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,879 No, no, no. Uh, we're-we're not... 337 00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,848 I had my reservations about tonight. 338 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:45,218 Now I see you brought me here only to mock me. 339 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,854 My girlfriend was right. I shouldn't have come. 340 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:48,888 I thought you broke up. 341 00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,757 This is a new one. 342 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:55,195 She also has no phone. I should be going. 343 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,564 No-- Dr. Walker, wait. 344 00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:01,368 I realize now that I was not a good person in high school. 345 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,371 I feel terrible about the things I did back then, 346 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,773 and I wish I could apologize 347 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,943 for what I did to you. 348 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,545 But the truth is, I don't even remember what it was. 349 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:16,383 Well, I appreciate your candor. 350 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,385 I wish it were only so easy for me 351 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,720 to forget about that election speech. 352 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,556 Election speech. 353 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,793 You're Andy Walker. 354 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,763 (high-pitched): And I owe you an apology. 355 00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,265 (regular voice): Oh. 356 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,569 Would you, um... 357 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:39,439 excuse me? 358 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,808 Uh, I'm just gonna go help her for a minute. 359 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,410 (clears throat) 360 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,612 -What is going on? -I remember Walker. 361 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:48,982 Senior year, right before his student council speech, 362 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:52,419 I slipped a bottle of laxatives into his prescription soup. 363 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,754 Walker was the kid that dumped out in front of the school. 364 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,090 I remember that. 365 00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,758 They had to replace the whole stage. 366 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,960 But this is great. Now you can really apologize. 367 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:05,598 No, I can't. I will never ever apologize to that guy. 368 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,001 Well, drink up. Usually after the second glass, 369 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,337 you're more up to try things you first said no to. 370 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,111 -Why won't you tell this guy you're sorry? -Look, 371 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,447 I feel bad about a lot of stuff I did back then, but not that. 372 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,016 That was not bullying, it was standing up for a friend. 373 00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,518 My only regret is I didn't use more laxatives. 374 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:30,190 But I needed to fit into my prom dress. 375 00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:33,326 -But again... -The guy was a huge creep. 376 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,129 He had a crush on my friend Heather, and she just 377 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,499 didn't like him back, so he lied about her cheating off him 378 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,701 and got her kicked out of school. 379 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,636 Whoa, that guy did that? 380 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,172 Okay, they might get the bullying from me, 381 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,739 but they get the lurking from you. 382 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:49,676 Yes. 383 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,844 Your mom needs to say she's sorry to this guy. 384 00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,813 But it sounds like she was right. 385 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,215 She shouldn't have to apologize. 386 00:16:56,883 --> 00:17:00,353 Ugh, I have to be a parent right now, don't I? 387 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:04,391 Your dad has a point. 388 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:07,160 What I did was wrong, and it is never okay 389 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,728 to treat someone like that. 390 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,997 So I should own up to it. 391 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,733 (whispers): Even though I was right and I don't want to. 392 00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:19,406 And then Neil deGrasse Tyson said, "Give me some time." 393 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:24,511 And I said, "What is time?" and, oh, did we laugh. 394 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,346 Well, I laughed. 395 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,682 He was very far away. 396 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,218 Can I go to bed? 397 00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:36,256 Dr. Walker, I just want to finish what I was saying before. 398 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,191 Oh. 399 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:39,692 KAY: I am... 400 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,862 sorry for what I did to you. 401 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,531 It was, uh... 402 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,234 Cruel, childish and unjustified? 403 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:51,238 Those are three things. 404 00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:55,275 And for whatever reasons I thought I had, I see now that... 405 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,909 You did it because you were jealous 406 00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:59,446 of my success and intelligence. 407 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:03,750 The important thing is that Marc is a great kid. 408 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:06,286 All of my kids are great kids, 409 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:10,390 and I have done my best to set a good example for all of them. 410 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,226 Well, at least you have the self-awareness 411 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,795 to make yourself a cautionary tale for your children. 412 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,567 Though you must appreciate the irony. 413 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:25,472 You, once so powerful and popular, now reduced 414 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:29,409 to working at a second-rate casino, pleading for my help 415 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,911 like a squirrel trapped in a garden rake. 416 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:36,115 Okay. Okay, ho-- That is my squirrel. 417 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,751 -Mike, it's fine. -It is fine. 418 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:42,755 I graciously accept your apology. 419 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,457 Justice has been served. 420 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:47,927 All is right in the world. 421 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,796 You're a dick. 422 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,667 -Leila. -NICOLE: She's right. 423 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,603 No one can talk to our mother like that. 424 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,272 Especially not some pedantic pseudo-intellectual. 425 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:03,176 Pseudo? I have an IQ of 135. 426 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,611 (both laugh) 427 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,180 I can't believe you'd admit that. 428 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:12,285 So, you're just a whole family full of bullies. 429 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,287 I guess some things never change. 430 00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:15,688 You should know. 431 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,857 Becoming an educator is a transparent attempt 432 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:21,328 to wield power in an environment where you once felt so impotent. 433 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,530 What know you of my impotence? 434 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,299 Your words mean nothing. 435 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,301 "Let them speak lewdly of me, what am I the worse?" 436 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:29,969 -Sir Thomas More. -(scoffs) 437 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,472 More like Sir Thomas Snore. 438 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,241 (both laugh) 439 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,315 I'll be going. 440 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:46,519 Marc, it seems like you're the only decent one of the bunch. 441 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,521 Wait. 442 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,525 (whispering indistinctly) 443 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,665 (crying softly) 444 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,535 Sir Thomas More was a damned fool. 445 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:05,705 (door opens, closes) 446 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,507 What did you say to him? 447 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,376 Just enough. 448 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:15,382 Again, I am so sorry for all of the mean things I said 449 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:18,351 and did to you in high school. 450 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:22,188 Thanks. It was nice talking to you, too. 451 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,024 Jerry Weenus accepted my apology. 452 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,360 Another burned bridge rebuilt-- 453 00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:30,697 -And what are you wearing? -Oh. These? 454 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,232 Well, I figured, now that we are officially 455 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:37,704 a bully-free ho ho home, I am free to be me. 456 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,873 And I can't say anything about it. 457 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,875 No, you cannot. 458 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:46,279 You just got to watch me walk. (chuckles) 459 00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,881 Okay, the jeans don't want to sit. (clears throat) 460 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,083 Announcing entrance. 461 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:53,920 Sweetie, we are so sorry about Marlboro. 462 00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:56,956 But don't worry, we are gonna come up with another plan. 463 00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:59,726 It's okay. I'm going to apologize to my teacher. 464 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,794 -You are? -If you could be nice to a jerk 465 00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:05,231 like Dr. Walker for me, I can be nice to my teacher for you. 466 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,400 It's not his fault he went to Dartmouth. 467 00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,068 (chuckles) 468 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,237 Wow, that is really mature of you, buddy. 469 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,639 Yeah. 470 00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:16,576 Maybe even like seventh grade mature. 471 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,512 -Then we'd have two drop-offs. -Sixth it is. 472 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,281 Hey, jelly bean, what are you doing? 473 00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:23,983 I'm going to dig in the backyard. 474 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:26,419 Oh, y-you planting something? 475 00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:29,088 Sort of. Let's just say that you won't be seeing 476 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,624 my imaginary friend around here anymore. 477 00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:37,464 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 478 00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,902 Jason Biggs and Maggie Lawson are Outmatched. 479 00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:44,971 See all-new episodes Thursdays on Fox. 480 00:21:45,021 --> 00:21:49,571 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0